it’s hard to do a good groundhog after all that botox

Sue Simmons is a local newscaster here in New York, and she’s been on the air for something like 30 years. Sue has a little tradition of doing animal impersonations, and since today was Groundhog’s Day, Sue did her annual impersonation of a groundhog.

Or at least she tried.

Now, it is far from controversial in this town to imply that Sue has had a little work, but one can’t truly appreciate its depth and breadth until you see Ms. Simmons do her groundhog—2006 edition.

The mouth kind of scrunched up a little, and she bared her front teeth, but that was it. Nothing. Else. Moved.

I’m guessing it will be an early spring because the forehead did not see its shadow.

I know there is plenty of talk in Hollywood about how hard it is these days to find an actress who can frown or wrinkle her brow, but one can’t truly appreciate the horrors of the plastic arts until you’ve seen Sue's groundhog.