Tuesday, March 20, 2007

shake shack—you bastards!

What does this say? What does this say!

It says that the Shake Shack will open at 11am on Wednesday, March 21. And am I excited about? Well, hells yeah!

Or, should I say, was I excited about that. . . .

I had planned to be at the shack soon after it opened on Wednesday to celebrate the first batch of burgers of the season, but now I see that those no good, insiderie, hipper than thou, shacknoscenti did a sneak opening on Monday. Yeah, yesterday!

Tell me, would the Mets have a sneak opening day two days before most of thought the season was going to begin? No! I find this sneak opening such a buzz kill. Take a life-long (life of the Shake Shack, that is) shack lover and make him feel like some average, run of the mill, B&T, Johnny come lately. I mean, am I going to feel special to be there on Wednesday now? No, I am not. . . I may not even bother to go. . . . I’ll just wait till it’s actually nice out—I mean, what’s the point of eating a burger in a snowdrift if it’s not really the first burger of the season?

So, next time you want to have a sneak opening, at least have some sort of e-mail list I can be on, so I can feel a little special. . . . And, while I’m at it, I want the Usinger’s Brats back on the menu. . . and the Shake’s Pear in the Park concrete. . . and the Chicago dogs would be better if they were grilled. . . and stop letting people get to the front of the line without knowing what they want. . . and if they walk up and ask “What’s a shack burger?” when it’s written on like five different signs right in front of them, send them to the end of the line. . . and. . . .


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