the company he keeps

Back in 2000, when President “elect” Bush was filling his cabinet with Republican retreads and cronies from daddy’s administration, I remarked, “Doesn’t this guy have any friends of his own?”

Jump ahead six years, and the wildly unpopular (not just socially, but politically) Georgie-boy has mostly been told to stay away by campaigning members of the president’s own party. But, undaunted, and ever the Party animal, Bush has hit the trail anyway, using taxpayer funded Air Force One for a whirlwind tour of campaign stops in places that were all solidly safe for Republicans two years ago, but now all qualify as dangerous to desperate for the GOP.

Who is in such sorry shape that they will risk a photo-op with Mr. 34%? Let’s take a look:

Last week, President Bush made appearances on behalf of Rep. Don Sherwood (PA-10), a man who is fighting allegations that he a) had a mistress, b) tried to strangle her, and c) paid her to keep quiet, in installments, with the largest part of the payoff due after November 7.

Bush also stumped for Sen. George Allen (VA), a man who has been photographed hanging out with Klansmen, has publicly used a racial slur during the campaign, has privately used the N-word all of his life, posted a confederate flag in his room, took offense at the public revelation that his mother was Jewish, allegedly cut off the head of a deer and stuffed it in the mailbox of an African American family, allegedly beat up his sister and abused his first wife, and had his campaign staffers rough up an independent journalist/blogger for asking an unfriendly question. (And those are just the highlights.)

Then, on Thursday, Bush flew up to Montana, where three-term Senator Conrad Burns is famous for being Jack Abramoff’s number one patsy. Burns took more money from Abramoff than any other legislator, and he and his staff ate free meals so often at Jack’s restaurant, one consultant remarked that without Abramhoff, Burns and his staff would starve.

Bush finished his day in Nevada, where long time Reno Representative Jim Gibbons is facing charges that he assaulted a cocktail waitress last month in a Las Vegas parking lot, and later threatened her if she didn’t keep quiet. Gibbons, who is married, admits downing “a couple” of drinks with the waitress and three other women (one of whom called the evening “flirty and dirty”), but insists the assault was nothing more than him helping her up after a fall. (911 tapes and security video are in the hands of the Sheriff, who is an open supporter of Gibbons.)

And those are just the friends Bush thought worthy of the trip (you know how he hates to travel). Then there are George’s phone buddies, like the Rev. Ted Haggard, head of the 14,000 strong New Life Church in Colorado Springs, and president of the National Association of Evangelicals, who has a regular weekly teleconference with President Bush. Haggard stepped down from his lofty posts Thursday after a former male prostitute went public with claims that he had a three-year tryst with the married father of five. The escort says he has tapes of voicemails and a letter from Haggard, and also says he saw the Reverend use crystal meth.

The prostitute says he only went public because he recently discovered that the man he knew as “Art” was actively campaigning for a Colorado ballot initiative that would ban gay marriage.

In 2006, these are George Bush’s homies.

And what about the old gang—daddy’s buddies? Bush announced this week that he will stay the course and keep vice-president in charge of torture Dick Chaney and secretary of quagmire Donald Rumsfeld around to make sure the remainder of his term goes just as swimmingly as the first six years. . .

. . . 'cause that’s what friends are for.