stay away from whiskey and wild, wild women. . .

. . . or beer and ambassadors to Switzerland.







So, the question is out there, was it the booze, or was it the other woman? Did the secret service and the Kenedy County Sheriff conspire to keep Cheney and his little mishap under wraps for the better part of a day in order to let him sober up or to let his special friend get away?

Alan Dershowitz and numerous law enforcement officials think it’s a good bet Vice President Cankles needed some time to get that “one beer” out of his blood. But Bob Cesca and RJ Eskow both have more than a sneaking suspicion that we should be looking at Dick’s dick.

Faux-eyewitness Katherine Armstrong’s all-over-the-map explanations about the beer really seem to say that drinking was involved. But the fact that the name of the third hunter, Ambassador Pamela Willeford, didn’t surface for days, the fact that she hasn’t been seen since Saturday, and the fact that Lynn Cheney—usually all too willing to put in her two cents—is also strangely quiet this week all seem to point to une liaison dangereuse.

Your vote? (I guess if your answer were “both,” it wouldn’t be the first time.)