Tuesday, January 03, 2006

oh, waiter, I’ll take that book deal now. . . .

You know, I really thought this was going to be easier. This is, what, my third entry already, and, I was thinking, could a deal for my novel be that far away? Or, should I say, “blovel?”

Yes, that retch-ed portmanteau is what Janet Maslin has dubbed Dog Days, the first fictional (first? really?) offering from Ana Marie Cox (aka Wonkette—you knew that, right?). Blovel. . . I mean, really, is it just me, or is it hard to say that without little bits of vomit flying out of your mouth?

Anyway, back to the dish before me: Apparently, writing a super swellegant blog (and I mean that compliment most sincerely), is not the same as writing a book. . . which means I have seriously misunderestimated my path to fame and fortune.

Now, I have not read Dog Days, and I make it a point never to go “ick” before I’ve tried something (I must speak more to this, but not now, it’s late), but JanMas sure doesn’t serve up a very amusing amuse-bouche. Lots of thinly veiled self-references that are all-too-lightly seasoned with the piss and vinegar that one has come to expect from the Wonker. But, perhaps the most awful detail detailed in the Times review of this “roman à clef à clef” (Maslin’s term—bravo, Janet!), is the name of the blog central to this blovel: Capitolette.

Really, AMC, Capitolette? You replaced Wonkette with Capitolette? That’s the best you could come up with? That is so sad. Like I said, I’m a big fan of Wonkette, but “Capitolette” is obvious without being a cute turn of phrase, or a good pun, or good self-deprecating humor. . . or. . . or anything!

I think I prefer how I initially misread it: “Capitoilette.”

In fact, if that’s not taken, I think I’m going to take it. Oh, waiter!

Then again, if I can’t have my just dessert first, maybe I should dine and dash on this whole blogosphere thing. Or, if I can’t simply be a “blovelist,” maybe I can just go straight to opinion-maker. Pundit anyone?


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